- thefiresembodied -

2004-03-22T14:51:00.000Z

testing something =P

Should I be happy or hurt?

2004-03-19T12:35:00.000Z

wow I actually have something of some worth to type.

As some of you may know, I was in the papers a few times because of a fire that broke out at the graveyard near school. My friends and I pulled a old man out of the fire and helped the firefighters to put it out. So what has happened is we recently got given awards for our bravery. Now mine and two other peoples names have been added to a list the royal humane society has of people who have done heroic deeds. So yay me. "Infamy" as it was put on the night. It was a good night, but I was actually put down by the fact I went by myself. All the other five people who were awarded came with their parents, family, friends and so on. Then there was me. On me lonesome. It was embarrasing. Especially at the point where the parents were allowed to come up for photos. Hah. Nice. And when the Chancellor was saying how proud they should be of us, which reminded me of something mum said just before I left. Mum didn't want to come cos apparantly I'm "nothing to be proud of", Dad couldn't come because it was the pool finals, and Scott had to go there too because he's part of Dad's pool team. And then at the end, they all went off with their families to celebrate, and I was outside by reception, in the dark by myself (this was bout 8:00), waiting for a cab. It was supposed to be a night I would remember for good reasons. Never turned out like that.

Should I be happy because of helping to save Mr Unselds life and for this award? Or hurt because I'll be the only one I can share that experience with? I don't know. I just want some support.

2004-03-09T12:32:00.000Z

Your Energy is Red. You are strong in character and
love to be active and competitive. Driven and
goal oriented, you know what you want and what
it takes to get it. Courageous, strong, and
fair, you like to see equal justice for all.
You prefer the material world and all things
tangible.

You would make an ideal surgeon, emergency medical
technician, weight lifter, athlete,
chiropractor, or pioneer in some field.

What color is your energy?
brought to you by Quizilla

img src="http://images.quizilla.com/I/Iceangel143/1077972265_rriorangel.JPG" border="0" alt="warrior">
Your a Guradien Angel! Guardien Angels are also
knows as Warrior Angels, because they are the
army of God. Not always meaning that they are
in war, simply that their job is to protect
unwary humans from dark dragons, or other evil
demons. Warrior Angels are not always friendly
with humans, but they will watch over them all
the time. Humans say that when a miracle
happens, thank your guradien angel.

What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only) This Quiz has amazingly Beautiful Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a fire shadow. The feathery glow of your
source makes you spritely and active. You love
to experience many things and you want to take
in the entire world. You are constantly
flickering, darting from one experience to the
next. You have heat, energy, magic, and
charisma and hold the power of beauty and
destruction. However, the dying of your embers
is a corrupting fear. Learn to accept that you
cannot possess so much raw energy
forever.(please rate my quiz cuz it took me for
freaking ever to create)

What Kind of Shadow Are You? (with gorgeous pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

You're Element is Flame. You have a strong,
independant, fiery personality and you
obviously don't ley other's puch you around.
You like being in charge and don't care what
other people think. In fact, you like to stand
out and be yourself. You're probably shy when
people first meet you but your a ball of energy
that could explode at any given moment. You
like to laugh and whether you admit it or not,
you like to fight. You're peronality that is
wild and untamable. You're beauty is physically
fit and a little sexy and you have a very
pretty face.

What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-03-09T11:35:00.000Z

Howdi peeps

2004-03-02T12:31:00.000Z

So yeah here I am again.
Art is coming on well now. I've FINALLY finished the scary human cloning final piece, and the expression of roses one. Alls well with the world (lol). It's just the sketchbooks that are bringing me down atm. I'm sooo scared to get in touch with Ravensbourne. What if they turn me down (which they prob will)? Mum would be proved right and I would have failed at the only thing I wanna do atm. I'm brickin it. Someone needs to save me from myself.

Hopefully I'll be going to see Herr Tolley today, so that'll be fun.

Went to Bromley with Heather and Serkan on Sunday. Serkan is sooo cool. We dragged Heather in to see Chris her new other half and embarrassed the living shit outta her, in true haley style. It was no big, as she soon found out afterwards :D. Serkan also read my palm for me but didn;t get to say much cos his bus came. The first thing he said was that I tend to hold a lot of things back on a first meeting, then that I have a secret life that nobody knows of (hehe) and finally that I tend to gamble with my life in the way of taking risks. Does anyone agree?

Slapped with the back end of a shovel yet again.

2004-02-18T10:54:00.000Z

Said I'd post eventually, and things have been a lil hectic at the mo so it's taken a while. First things first.

My grandfather died two weeks ago. There's a whole load of shit flying around concerning it too. I didn't find out until Scott told me about him, rather bluntly too seeing as he thought that I already knew. I told him over the phone one night that something was up with Dad, and he replied "Yeah, it's about your grandad's death isn't it?". So you can imagine my reaction to that. Then he told me that Dad was gonna tell me in his own time, but seeing as his death was a week before even Scott found out, that went through the window. My parents still haven't told me to my face, even though I think they have gathered that I know by now. But neither of my brothers know, cos one's 7 and doesnt need the grief, and the other is too senstive at the mo so I will tell him soon. I couldn't go to his funeral cos someone had to look after Brandon.

Also the whole family arguement has been dug up and exhumed again. Not going into too many details, but it was ok for dad's side of the family to forget that grandad even existed when he was alive and healthy, and then when he became seriously ill with dimensia it was supposedly perfectly fine for them to take his money and not even visit him. BULLOCKS. HOW DARE THEY? My mum and dad looked after him whenever they could. He came and stayed around during the holidays, and also when they had the time and the space. Even though he was ill, and it got pretty scary sometimes. Senile dimensia is not a pretty thing as you could imagine. One time it got really bad, when I was in year 10 i think (not too sure). He locked himself in my room for a week, refusing to eat, chucking his clothes into the bin, refusing to come out, saying that an assassin coming after me and my brothers, and saying that the man in the mirror kept on telling him how pathetic he was and insulting him all the time. He didn't know it was his own reflection. That time mum had to get some help to come around, she ordered that the caring home in Greenwich where he stayed should come and pick him up because he was't eating and was getting worse. But you know what they said? "Sorry, but he isn't in our borough if he is in your property in Kent, so there's nothing we can do about it." WHAT THE FUCK? So we called a caring home in our borough if they can come and take him, but they said they couldn't because he was with a different caring home. Great. What is the world coming to? So we had to do something. Me and my mum forced ourselves into my bedroom door, which he had put my cabinet against, and told him he had to eat something. He got aggressive then and pushed mum out the door and almost down the stairs, but I pulled him back through into my room and held the door closed while mum called the police and ambulance. Even the police had trouble taking him out. It took four of them. A surprising amount of strength. It broke my dad's heart, grandad didn't recognise my younger brothers, and it was hard for him to remember who me and mum were. He wasn't allowed back to our house anymore after that, incase it happened again. So we saw him a lot less due to the fact my parents couldn't visit him too often because of lack of time and it was a fair drive. He got awful lonely. Concerning my dads side of the family, some lived not 5 mins from where his caring home was, and didnt visit him whatsoever. How could they be so cruel? They could visit him every day if they wanted, but they didn't visit him ONCE. Then they had the cheek to phone up my dad after the funeral and say how negligent dad was to grandad. He hit the roof. Utter bull. Dad said if he had something to say he could come down and say it to the whole family to our faces, not down a telephone cable. Bastard just hung up. He knows not to say it to dad face to face.

It's terrible. My grandad was a lovely bloke before his illness. He loved Brandon to pieces. Dad did everything he could for him, and they go snubbing it as if they're the righteous ones who weren't to be blamed. I'd love to see them again. Just so I could give them a piece of my mind.

I'm back! Did you miss me? (nope)

2004-02-05T12:46:00.000Z

Finally I have sorted out this whole bloody blog thing and my actual site too. NOTHING is hotlinked or whatever, so I'll have no complaints, and the picture above is MINE. So there. =P

Still at Rigby, doing my Art, same old same old. So yeah this will be updated from now on. You are now priveliged to my maniacal ramblings . . .

2003-12-11T12:14:00.000Z

Does anyone think I should change my layout?

Hello People

2003-12-11T12:13:00.000Z

Art is coming on well. I visited Ravensbourne on Tuesday (by myself) and it was so cool. The equipment they've got there is fantastic, the people are friendly and it's better than I thought it would be. I really hope I get in there =).
The Tarot is really coming on well for me too. All seems to be well in the world at the mo.
On the Sunday I won by SKILL heather dammit! And Tobbs - don't worry, and hope you had a good time at Feeder!!!
=P

2003-12-05T11:40:00.001Z

Right now I am extremely pissed off. My site is well and truly fucked now - got the design I like, but I can't do anything to it because o-f.com is a pile of fucking shit and won't let me access the layout. Now I am so pissd of I'm forgetting about having a bloody site until I find a host that is'nt as pathetic and stupid and hopeless as fucking of.com!

2003-12-05T11:40:00.000Z

Right, now I'm pissed off.

Why is it that people assume that family are always there for you, the ones you can turn to. There for you my arse.I'm not going into details about my family, it'll take too long and most of you know anyway. But for fucks sake. Heathers getting it too. grrr just grr. vex. grr. arg. *punch kick wallop* *needs a punch bag* *smack* bloody hell.

2003-12-04T12:09:00.000Z

Hello again people.

I'm in the library today - not because I'm skiving again but because the art teacher has mocks with the younger years so the art department is off limits. So whats the point of going in?

Panto rehearsals last night was just blah. And this is for Toby who wasn't there last night (Kaz will fill you in with the details and I'm using code incase a certain person reads this):
We need to get Xenos and the one who loves pink together. It's driving me and Kazzers and Jemma nuts =P.

So I'm gonna do the whole poking my nose in thing mwahahaha. Here I go again.

oh yeah

2003-12-03T16:31:00.000Z

And do you like my new layout?!

Rambling on again

2003-12-03T16:29:00.000Z

Never got to go to Ravensbourne in the end - couldn't find Ian or Ashley or Tous and I took so long trying to find them I would've been late. Great. I was so pissed off. But I'm ok now =P. We're going to the one next Tuesday (hopefully). Got rehearsals tonight. Yay. Also I have to get on with some art work - I am determined to achieve that A grade.

And yes Heather we will go get some gemstones for you. Just have to find the time cos everyone needs me for something over the weekend - I've got work, Panto backdrops to paint, art work to do, brothers to babysit, Scott to see and many other things. Oh well, at least I won't be bored this weekend!

hello there

2003-12-01T15:34:00.000Z

Whew, to much to do.
Mum and I are on the war path again, lol, it kinda just makes me laugh now cos I'm so close to moving out with Scotty and going to Ravensbourne, I try not to let it get to me anymore. Talking of Ravensbourne, I'm going with Ian, Ashley and Tous to the open day tomorrow. Me and Ash are especially excited and worried. Butterflies in my stomach lol.

Went to that chinese noodle bar again with Scotty on Saturday. Wore that new skirt I bought with Channie when we went to Bromley on Friday (yes people I actually wore a SKIRT!). The food is so nice!!! And me and Scotty were all to ourselves, which was great.

Art is coming on pretty cool. My revolting art piece with the whole human cloning and skin stuff is coming on now, just have to finish making the skin. The heart looks all nasty mwahahahaha. But I have a lot of sketchbook work to be doing.

Need to go to work now. *Leaves thinking of how to get Heather outta the house*

huh?

2003-11-28T11:51:00.000Z

Are everyone's blogs fucked up? Heather's definately is and Tobys is different and I don't know if he put it like that or if its just screwed. lol.
Anyway Toby I won't be in ERYC tonight so if you check this blog before you go you can tell them all that for me =).

relieved

2003-11-26T13:02:00.000Z

Here I am at Rigby again. It's cool.
I want to go to Ravensbourne on Tuesday for an open day. So I asked the new art teacher Ms Crothers what she thinks my predicted grade is and she told me that although he hasn't seen all of my work I'm working at least at a high C grade, probably B. If I put in more hard work I can definately reach an A grade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy, I thought I was at a D/E grade. I'm glad that I was wrong. All I gotta do now is work more then I have the possibilty of an A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wooooowooooowooooowoooooowooooooo.

My weekend . . .

2003-11-25T14:12:00.000Z

wew what a week.....
Friday - Alice's party. I had to wear a bloody dress!!!! All my trousers were in the wash. Grrrrr damn washing machine. So I went to the party. Chris was wearing his usual attire, and he took the piss outta mine!!! Grrrrr. Lol the best bit was when the bands had cleared their stuff off the stage, and a song come on. Me and Debbs just looked at eachother, then the stage, then eachother, nodded and went for it. We started off a chain reaction of people climbing onto the stage then jumping up and down on it. Trend starters we be, lol. Chris was scared shitless. Lol and Toby, Dienye and Oli started moshing and barging eachother. My song came on and I got emotional *hates when I do that*which was really pathetic. Then someone called Jodie gatecrashed the party and upset Alice - I almost got to deck her but Megan got there before me (Jodie the Man got lucky). The bands were really good, spesh the ERYC one ;D. It was a great night.

Saturday - Went to go to work but they didn't need me. So I went to Heathers and ended up going to Bromley and I got to see Tasha!!! We were walking around aimlessly for a while, and then went into the shop where Heaths EX interest works. Lol She went sooo red. Then we went to Pizz Hut, which was cool. Then to see that bloody fucking film - Love Actually. GRRRRRR. That David said to Heath he just wanted to be friends, which I think he was either shallow or still fancying Louise. Ooooh and I got choccie cake!!!

Anyways, I is back at Rigby - everyone thought I was dead. Sparky couldn't believe it. Mr Grey came into the common room today so I legged it and hid! I'm glad but also worried to be back. I think Mum found out, but hey, I'm not doing this for her. At least I was doing work while I was away. Oooooh and I got to play cards. Scotty is soo wonderful he left me a lovely letter under my pillow yesterday. Bless him, I love him so much. It's good to be me sometimes!

I aint got the time!!!!

2003-11-22T12:52:00.000Z

I will write more some other time, I got work to go to. Also I am gonna have a hectic weekend too. So I prob won't be able to post until Monday. But the party was great, really cheered me up (apart from that song =P). Things will get better eventually anyway.

My world's a mess

2003-11-21T11:11:00.000Z

Found out what happened with my parents. Dad did the stupid thing of visiting his old girlfriend, while he was supposed to be working. The worst thing is Scotty got caught in the middle of it all. Because he goes to work with my Dad sometimes. Mum called on the mobile which was in the van where Scott was at the time and Dad was seeing the bloody bitch. He picked it up and told Mum where he was. He just said the persons name (not "He's meeting his ex"), and Mum went mad at Dad. Now Scott is blaming himself because he told Mum the persons name. It's NOT his fault. He didn't know, he thought he was just telling the truth and he didn't know it was Dad's ex at all. Dad doesn't blame him either, nor Mum. I certainly don't. Dad shouldn't have seen her so suspiciously and Mum should find out the facts before she goes off the rail.
There is one good thing about this - they're being considerate enough to keep it to themselves and not let the boys know this time. Instead of screaming at eachother there's the tension in the room, ignoring eachother, the sly comments. Also they decide to argue quietly in the bedroom, which is right next to mine, at 2:00 am (my usual bedtime nowadays), and I can hear them fine, do they think I'm thick or something? They probably do, and I wouldn't necessarily disagree. But at least the boys don't know. I can't handle them on top of everything else.
To Sparky - I'm sorry, I will speak with you soon.
Heath - I probably will come and see you, I can't stand being in that house.
Chris - go to the party!
Tobbs - enjoy this evening, I don't know if I'll be able to go now, and if I do, I won't be there for long at all.
For all of you - sorry for you all having to put up with me. I'm more trouble than I'm worth a lot of the time.

Here we go again

2003-11-20T12:00:00.000Z

Guess what the first thing I woke up to was . . . my Mum shouting down the phone at my Dad. All I heard was Mum saying "I don't care - you were over half an hour in there. Go 'comfort' her all you want, because I've had enough and were through. It's over you hear me?!" Then the phone is slammed down. Great. As if I don't have enough trouble of my own without worrying about my parents. And my brothers? How are they gonna cope with the argueing AGAIN? I remember when it got real bad when I come back from the army, and PJ just left the house to go to his friends while they were shouting. Came home from work, heard them shouting in the living room, went straight upstairs only to find my lil bro Brandon crying in his bed all alone listening to them, PJ gone. So I got him dressed so I could get him out of the house. I went downstairs (they were still shouting) to tell them I was taking him out, but got ignored. FINE. So I took him to Beckenham into Wimpy, because he certainly wasn't gonna get fed at home, then to see Scott at work, then to the park. It was dark now and about 9:00. I was walking on the High street to the bus stop to go home with Brandon, next thing I know Dads van is parked on the other side of the road and he's SCREAMING HIS HEAD OFF at me in the street. They thought they lost Brandon and they didn't know I had come home and taken him out. It took them long enough to realise - we'd been gone three hours. So he snatched Brandon from me, drove him home, and left me at the bus stop with people looking at me as if I was some sort of kidnapper. I'm not having that happen again. The poor boy was really upset so I spent all my £20 taking him out of that bloody house. And I did try to tell them I was taking him out. I can see the arguements happening all over again. Yay. Just another day in the life . . .

Happier

2003-11-18T11:46:00.000Z

I met my hippy friend today! He's so cool. Slightly scary, but hey so am I.
Scott and I are going out to a restaurant this evening. It's a chinese food place so YAY! My favourite. He's got a mobile now - my Dad gave him his old one. I swear they're getting to close to eachother for my comfort. Scott knows more about Dad than I do! But at least there's no boyfriend-parent disagreements.

Lost

2003-11-17T14:37:00.000Z

I need to speak to either Chris, Toby or Sparky. I doubt if any of them read this blog anyway. The thing is, I need help. I don't want to go back to Rigby, but I know that I have to carry on there until the year finishes. But I can't bring myself to go there. I like staying in the library doing my work, and I do actually do my work, contrary to popular belief. I'm an independant learner. And the new bloody art teacher is no good anyway - she can't even tell the difference between AS and A2. Stupid woman. I need someone to push me into going into Rigby. It's not the people there at all - they're great! We have a laugh, play footie, play cards rescue old men from fires (=P). I just don't want to be there anymore. I can't wait until I can go to Ravensbourne. That's if I can even get there at this rate. Trying doesn't seem to be enough anymore.

Just another day in the life . . .

2003-11-17T11:23:00.000Z

Saturday was cool. I bagged Heather a bloke! Mwaha. She wouldn't go get the number of the bloke working in the shop - so I went and got it for her. Simple. It was so easy. Well, when you have no shame embarassing yourself isn't a concern. Also, I'm taken and the nimber was for her. Hopefully they'll hit it off, they seemed to be when they were texting and they have a lot in common. So that's all good. I've now also done almost all of my crimbo shopping. So now I can kick back and relax.

I know that me and my parents have never been close, but something really brought it home the other day. Only a little thing, but they say it's the little things in life that are the most important. Scott and I went to go see my Dad play in the pool league (his team won!). While we were sitting at the bar, Dad came over and layed two glasses of coke on the table "There you go you two.". Then he carried on playing. The thing is - I have NEVER ever drank coke, fizzy drinks, alcohol etc. I ONLY drink water or strawberry ribena, even as a child. Ever. And he never realised? Wow. Like I said - it is a little thing, but everyone (obv apart from my Dad) knows I only drink water. It hurt.

Dedication

2003-11-17T11:01:00.000Z

Thanks for the layout Heath, I love it!!!! =P

thefiresembodied@yahoo.co.uk
www.thefiresembodied.o-f.com

I need help

2003-11-12T11:29:00.000Z

Yeah, the above, but I don't like asking for it.
thefiresembodied@yahoo.co.uk
www.thefiresembodied.o-f.com

MuchaMuchaMucha

2003-11-11T11:31:00.000Z

Went to the pub last night with Scotty and his friend Neil to play some pool. Scott won all the time of course, but after a while, this drunken prick decided that he would come and play to. He was being a right git towards Neil, cos he has floppy, kinda longish curly hair (it actually looks quite cool)who's a real shy, quiet guy, and so took it. Lol so Scott went over to him and scared the shit outta the guy. So he left without saying another word. Mwaha my knight in shining armour.

thefiresembodied@yahoo.co.uk
www.thefiresembodied.o-f.com

Yeah, I'm bored

2003-11-10T12:27:00.000Z

I've been doing research (again) in the library and managed to get quite a bit done =). I'm researching 'The Influences of Technology on all aspects of Art'. So I'm treating myself to a muckabout on the computers there. And therefore here are some quizzes! (I'm addicted to them).

Your magical style is Dark.

What type of Magic do you work?. Take the Magical Style Quiz by Paradox

You are a werewolf.

What legend are you?. Take the Legendary Being Quiz by Paradox

Congratulations, you're a Dinnshencha, a feminist fae.
What kind of female faerie are you?
Take the female faerie quizby Paradox.

find your element
at mutedfaith.com.

Which Woman of Beauty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

You are a Jungle Beauty!
You are strong - both physically, mentally, and
as a woman. You are very sensual and like
a panther - sleek, powerful, charged!

What Natural Disaster are you? Take the quiz!

I'm exceptionally artistic!

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

Also known widely as the Fire Bird, the phoenix is a profound symbol of life and rebirth. It has a life cycle of 500 to 600 years and after that amount of time, it sets itself on fire and dies in the flames. Then, after three days, it rises again from the ashes. It is a completely benign creature who lives in dew. It is said that the phoenix has a beautiful melodious song which grows ever more mournful as its life comes to an end. It is also a symbol of the sun and immortality.

What mythical beast best represents you?Take the quiz!

free enneagram test

Which Woman of Legend Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

YOU ARE WARRIOR QUEEN - BOADICEA!

Celtic Queen Boadicea was a feisty and beautiful warrior who fought in wars with her people and is said to have established equality between men and women!

Whew, it works

2003-11-10T11:51:00.000Z

Yeah, this blog is official. This is to go with my domain (which is practically non existant at the moment). Gotta go and work on it =P.

thefiresembodied@yahoo.co.uk

2003-11-10T11:37:00.000Z

This is my blog, just trying it out .
Testing, testing . . . 1 . . . .2 . . . . 3?